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Some days I wake up and just know what I’m supposed to do for the day. I understand my purpose in waking up… and some days I don’t.

I know that sounds ugly. But let me explain. The pain of losing my son often overwhelms me. The fallout from that loss is still being discovered. Issues we need to deal with such as grief, and changes in our every day relationships pop up with no warning. And sometimes that knocks the air right out of my lungs.

Then there are days when I wake up knowing that my purpose now is to continue to love those around me and to help them through this. I realize in these moments that I am not the only one this affected. And I recognize that laying in bed feeling sorry for myself is not the answer to this problem, because it isn’t going to go away.

The other day, I was having one of those rough times. My heart just ached. Then I was taken by surprise by the voice of Robin Williams as English teacher John Keating from the film “Dead Poets Society”. He was giving one of his more famous speeches from the movie (it was the background for a commercial).

It reminded me that I am the author of this chapter in my life.

John Keating -“Dead Poets Society”

“We don’t read and write poetry because it’s cute. We read and write poetry because we are members of the human race. And the human race is filled with passion. And medicine, law, business, engineering — these are noble pursuits and necessary to sustain life. But poetry, beauty, romance, love — these are what we stay alive for.

“To quote from Whitman: ‘O me, O life of the questions of these recurring. Of the endless trains of the faithless. Of cities filled with the foolish. What good amid these, O me, O life? Answer: That you are here. That life exists and identity. That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.’

“‘That the powerful play goes on, and you may contribute a verse.’

“What will your verse be?”

Gwen Carver

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