Believe It, and I’ll Prove It.
I have a confession. But before I tell you what I’ve done, I want to give you some background.
An old student of mine posted that her family had a great loss because one of their family was murdered. My heart broke for her and her family. I understand the loss and everything that goes with it. I began praying for her family to find resolution… and that they find it quickly to lessen their suffering.
The next day, the murderer was arrested. My heart leaped for her family. How WONDERFUL it was that they would not be put through the pain of waiting like we are.
But then I felt it creep up on me. I became jealous. Jealous of their closure. Jealous of their justice. Jealous that they had a face and name to connect to the crime.
I began to question, “Why did You provide closure to them so quickly, and I’m still waiting on You, Lord? Am I not worthy of justice? Of closure? Have I done something to earn this pain???”
That is my confession. I began to lose my faith. I began to feel anger. I felt deserted. Alone.
I fell asleep crying.
When I woke up my eyes were swollen. And again I asked, “Why can’t I have closure? Lord, have I lost favor with You? Please God, tell me what I need to do!”
And He answered me. No, not a loud voice like James E. Jones. A quiet one, deep inside of me.
“Your path is not the same as theirs. Your path will not be easy. I need you for a different purpose. They have their own struggles to deal with. You must walk your path, because you are the only one that can.”
I do not presume that God wants me to be a martyr. I am not a Saint. But God would not allow me to go through this if He didn’t have a plan on how to use the experience.
Man says, “Prove it, and I’ll believe it.”
God says, “Believe it, and I’ll prove it.”
Today I choose faith.
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