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Keep Going…

The morning light shone through my bedroom window like it does most Saturday mornings. I laid in my bed not wanting to get up… knowing that I probably should.

Then I heard the familiar faint tone, “beep beep beep. beep beep beep. beep beep beep.” It went on for a few seconds, and I smiled.

It’s an alarm set to wake someone up. It’s meant to be annoying. I mean that’s it’s complete reason for existing, right? To annoy you enough to motivate you to turn it off… right??

Not me. I know where the alarm is coming from. It’s in my jewelry box on my dresser… the one where I keep teeth collected by the tooth-fairy, dried clover necklaces made by my children, other sentimental items, and Corey’s watch.

It’s still set for school and work days. When I hear it go off, I am reminded of how he used to groan and moan when he had to get up. How he would clumsily reach out from under his blankets and swing his arm aimlessly until he’d find the watch and turn off the alarm.

This alarm reminds me of what he was trying to accomplish. The job he held, the classes he attended, and what he wanted to become. It reminds me of the sacrifices he made so he could accomplish his goals.

But now, more than anything, when I hear the alarm I hear him whisper, “Hi mom. Good morning! I love you. Keep going.”

And I whisper back, “Hi sweetheart. I love you and I miss you. I’m still going.”

Gwen Carver

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