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I love you, I miss you, and I’ll see you soon!

Dear Corey,

Every summer you went to visit your father for two months. I remember how excited you’d be to go see him. He was always the “fun” parent. The one that would let you stay up late. The one that let you play video games all day if you wanted.

I remember battling you when you came home because I made you wear your seat belt. “Dad doesn’t make me wear it!” you yelled at me. “I’m not your dad!” I’d reply.

I hated not being the “fun” parent. Making you do your homework. Enforcing curfews. Grounding you. Hearing you stomp around and slam your door.

Then as you grew, you began to understand why I was so hard on you. Why I made you follow the rules… Because I love you.

The last summer you went to visit your dad, I brought you to the airport and watched you and Justin get on the plane. You were 16, almost 17. I remember thinking you were almost a man.

I drove home and went out on the back porch to get some fresh air. I’d quit crying when you left, because I knew you’d come home soon. But fresh air helped me to calm myself until I knew you were safely in your father’s home.

Then I looked down. And there it was…

A huge chalk heart on the cement of our back porch.

Inside it said, “Dear Mom, I love you, I miss you, and I’ll see you soon. Love Corey.”

I cried then. I won’t lie.

I cry now, 19 months after your murder.

Days after your murder, I found a letter you wrote in basic. It included all of the phrases you used inside that heart in your own handwriting.

I’ve tattooed them over my own heart… to remind me that I will see you again.

Dear Corey, I love you, I miss you, I’ll see you soon, and…

We won’t give up.

Love, Mom.

Gwen Carver

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