I remember seeking fear out…
Movies, haunted houses, roller coasters.
The rush of adrenaline as it coursed through my body
Would give me energy for the next half hour or more.
That was exciting for a while.
I didn’t really understand fear until July 27, 2013.
Walking into Corey’s room…
Seeing him pale, with blue lips…
Unable to speak.
The adrenaline that coursed through my veins that night
Was the only thing that carried me through the next 36 hours…
Right until my son died.
Not knowing who killed my son.
Is it a neighbor?
Someone I talk to every day?
Do they know me?
Where we live?
Do they ride the bus to school with my son?
Do they watch him as he waits at the bus-stop?
So I drive him to and from school.
Watching the shadows on my curtain
As people walk by our home at night.
The lights as they reflect against our home…
Cars pulling in and out of our driveway…
… only the “apartment dwellers” turning around in our drive…
Nothing to fear…?
The same apartments where Corey was attacked?
Putting 6 security lights on the front of your home.
Leaving your porch light on when anyone is away from home.
Leave the foyer light on too.
Change the lock on the front door to key-less entry…
Don’t be out past 10pm unless it’s absolutely necessary.
Keep the back door double locked at all times.
Questioning where your children are…
The children that aren’t really children anymore.
“Why are you 10 minutes late?
You had me worried!!”
That you will live like this for the rest of your life.
Please, someone relieve our fears. Someone knows something.